Early in 2022, I finally achieved one of my long-time professional goals. I was promoted to a VP role at Vacasa. I was leading various teams across infrastructure, IT, and information security. The role was well-paid, had a lot of influence, and was exactly the kind of leadership I’d been working towards for several years.
I left that role a year later.
Later in 2022, a good friend of mine started doing relief work in Ukraine. He organized a team to bring food and other supplies to displaced Ukrainians who’d crossed the border into Romania to seek shelter. We helped fund food deliveries, toys for displaced kids, and housing where possible.
It was, literally, the least we could do to help our friends abroad.
But I still felt guilty. It wasn’t enough. In December I was approached with the opportunity to take a smaller role with a defense startup. This isn’t an industry that really interested me … except, they were1I was told they were actively servicing a contract in Ukraine when I interviewed. I discovered later it was a contract opportunity that hadn’t yet solidified. doing work in Ukraine.
It wasn’t a VP role. It wasn’t as broad as I wanted. It wasn’t even in security. But I could play a real, meaningful part in the work to aid in Ukraine. We worked out the details over the next few months and I finally took the leap. I worked hard to position my Vacasa team for success before leaving my dream VP role for a much smaller gig in a risky startup.
A startup that laid off half the team the day before I started and replaced the CEO the following month.
A startup that ended up not doing any work with Ukraine.
I stuck it out for the next year, hopeful there was something salvageable with the company. We had a few wins, but mostly losses. I was eventually promoted to a VP role leading all of engineering. The vote of confidence in my skills was great, but ultimately it led to one of my last acts as overseeing yet another ~50% layoff.
I couldn’t keep at it and left this past summer.
Right now, I need time to recover. I tool on an IC2Individual Contributor role at a different startup that’s still operating in “stealth mode.” It’s interesting work and great technology, but a far cry from where I want to be and what I want to be doing. I’m not a VP. I’m not managing anything other than my own time. And I’m not making a meaningful difference in the places that matter the most to me.
But I’m here. I’m working. I’m providing. So I’ll take the wins that I can get.
This Saturday is my birthday. I’ve asked for nothing this year from my family, much to the frustration of those who bought me gifts I’ve asked them to return. What I want is for my work to matter. For the things I do to make a difference. For the world I’m giving my children to be a world worth living in.
I’m not asking for my VP titles back. Nor for the influence they carried. I’m not even asking for a job.
I’m asking for your help. Please donate. Help me to help those on the ground making a difference to do what they do best. We can build a better tomorrow, starting today. But none of us can do it alone.
- 1I was told they were actively servicing a contract in Ukraine when I interviewed. I discovered later it was a contract opportunity that hadn’t yet solidified.
- 2Individual Contributor